You think you know this flower, but do you really know me? Tell me do you know that:
while you’re sleeping, I stay up and pray for you, I pray harder for you than myself.
I think your flaws are the best parts of you, that’s what I love most.
I’m scared that one day you’d leave me for a prettier flower, you constantly tell me different.
I cry when we make love, not because it’s bad, because my soul connects to you beyond my body.
We’ve battled winter, now I’m blooming in the spring. Your love helped me unfold.
I can’t have you and you can’t have me, but I bet you wonder about what could be.
What if, maybe you were the reason I smiled so hard my cheeks turned into roses?
What if, maybe I was the reason your heart began to beat again?
What if, maybe we could be, one, happily & faithfully?
“what if” is what we wonder.
Maybe if I met you sooner, Maybe next lifetime.
Quickly those thoughts change as he grabs my hand and she kisses your cheek.
You tell her you love her, I tell him he’s my everything.
The fear of the unknown is real.
Your mind begins to race and overplay the “what if’s”, questions arise and doubts creep into your mind.
“Does he/she really love me?”
“Am I good enough?”
“Am I attractive?”
“When will these bills stop coming in?”
“What’s next after graduation?”
“Is my writing good enough?”
“Everyone seems to be making major moves, when will my turn come?”
You’re right where you should be.
Your path is different, your journey is your growth,
The unknown will always be around, be brave and face it head on.
Live your life, it’s yours.
I’ve having the blues in the world of the perfect size two.
So sick of eyes peering at my big thighs when I walk by.
It’s as if the world stops to look at my muffin top.
I’m tired of being a man’s secret fetish, I’m too thick to be seen with in public.
I’m tired of going into to stores to only buy one piece swim suit or moo-moo.
Thick, is not a sin.
Don’t be afraid to show your skin, you’re beautiful outside and in.
Love yourself, tried and true.
Curvy girls it’s our time, it’s long overdue!
“all that “positive energy, king/queen shit she on is fake”
“she think she’s better than somebody because she went to college.”
“she’s not even that pretty.”
“That man doesn’t love her, he only wants her because she’s young and easy.”
“we’re both from the projects, she’ll never amount to anything.
“so, what she went and got a better job, I’m still gonna take her money.”
“Why is she always smiling? Ain’t nobody that damn happy”
“Her blog isn’t popular, she needs to give it up.”
“she got manners, she’s bougie.”
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF ME!
We’re not Laverne and Shirley.
Shit, we’re not even Tia and Tamara.
You’re you, and I’m me. Individuals.
The only thing we share is the womb we came from.
I came into this world 9 years after you.
You were never the person I could confide in after numerous heartbreaks.
You were always the one trying to scare me into doing what you wanted because you were “older”.
I’m standing on my own. I’m going after my dreams for me, not to take care of you.
I’m living my life, my way.
I’m your little sister, but now I’m a grown ass woman.
I’m the type that can’t be tamed.
You can try to box me in, tell me what to wear, how to smile, or dictate if my dreams are attainable.
But you’re wasting your time.
I need to be free.
I don’t want to worry about how my life should be, I just want to live it.
Dont try to put me in a cage to make me love you or be with you.
I like to fall in love naturally.
Let me fall and get back up.
Let me breathe, scream, moan, unapologetically.
Let me be me.
Unfiltered, Unbothered, Uncaged.
It’s that time of the day when the air is still warm, but ever so often a gentle, cooling breeze caresses hot skin.
It reminds me of you.
It’s the time in the day when people are in the streets still, dancing, laughing, LIVING, not caring about about time.
It reminds me of kissing you.
The sky is a perfect shade of purple and blue, the stars shine much brighter.
It’s the hour where people are making love, basking in ecstasy, waiting for the morning sun to awake their sleeping eyes.
It’s during this magical hour, that I think of us.
I could never be the girl who takes the perfect selfie.
I’m not the girl who could put on mascara without making a silly face.
I don’t have the perfect size 10 with a big butt and big boobs.
I’m not a girl who could just eat a salad and be full.
I’m a dreamer, I’m silly and say random shit sometimes.
I’m a size 14 & and I’m happy with it.
I love a good cheesecake.
I love to wear blush.
I’m very clumsy.
I’ve tried to be the perfect girl for you, but I’m not.
And you love me anyway.
I know you have them in your life, the ones who need you to rescue them.
Hands out ready to snatch your last dollar, but won’t give you two pennies to scratch together.
They use you to dodge bullets, but have no sympathy when you get hit.
The ones who only call when it benefits them.
They don’t weather the storm with you, they let you get wet.
Don’t save them, save yourself.
Cry no more tears for them, but have mercy.
Ask God to remove them, let him be your life jacket, swim to shore.
Focus on YOU now.